Mr 5 has been banned from the computer. This has led to a strange side effect.
He has an imaginary keyboard.
He enjoys getting other people to play on his imaginary keyboard, although as far as I know, he is sensible enough to restrict this generous offer to those within the family.
He spent an entire trip to school trying to get Miss 9 to play his keyboard. Once she had been dropped off, he became unaccountably upset. It took me a while to figure out that it was because Miss 9 had walked off with his Magic Invisible Keyboard, and wouldn’t know how to turn it off because it doesn’t have an off button.
‘And I won’t be able to play it, because I didn’t make two!’
I suggested he make another straight away, then.
This became his imaginary laptop. He spent the rest of time before the key stage 1 base opened trying to get me to play imaginary Sims. I could be a vampire or a ghost sim. I chose to be a vampire. He then regaled me with advice about biting. Only bite people you like, because it’s not good making people you don’t like live forever. Oh, and never bite a ghost, because then you’d have an undead dead person, and that just wouldn’t be right, would it?
I hope I didn’t accidentally walk home with his Magic, Imaginary, Invisible Laptop.